Hard Knocks Episode 3 - Not as Bad as Episode 2!
- Well this is just what I wanted to watch when I turned on Hard Knocks, an ACL reconstruction surgery. That’s fine, I was done with this cereal anyways. Now let’s go ahead and put another check under the “pros” column for betting the Falcons under 8.5 wins this year.
- Dr. Falcons Guy - “Marquis don’t worry everything looked great outside of the horribly mangled ACL. The meniscus, the cartilage…everything in the knee looked great. Oh and I should add, we took a peak at your brain and it’s already degenerating and you probably won’t know who you are in 30 years…but the knee, the knee really looks freakin’ awesome man.”
- That “Drop the Dollar” game’s sole purpose is to tell us which of the wide receivers got high before practice. Today it seems Roddy is just a bit slow. That also helps explains why he was so giggly throughout the first two episodes.
- “Hey HBO brass, we have a black guy down here from the Netherlands who speaks four languages and get this…they call him “Amsterdam”.
“Does he have any chance to make the team?”
“No, but it’s really funny when he swears in English.”
“Fuck it, film him. Matt Ryan is still talking about the different types of tomatoes he has in his garden.”
- Can we all agree Bryan Cox needs more airtime? “I told you I started fuckin’ when I was 10.” I’m 99% sure Bryan Cox had a bigger penis when he was 10 than I have right now.
- Holy shit instead of forcing Matt Ryan to tell a joke, HBO should have made him go in and freestyle with William Moore.
"Yo, yo. My name is Matty Ice, like the ALS bucket challenge. No one has challenged me yet, but they will I bet. I have tons of friends, you just don’t know dem. I drop bombs all day. I’m gay. Wait, what? Just kidding with that last part. Can I re-start?"
- Let me correct you HBO narrator: “The life of a backup quarterback, isn’t easy…except…it’s the easiest life on the face of the earth.”
- Julio Jones just rose up a full round in fantasy drafts with that montage. Holy hell. Don’t forget he has the feet of Yao Ming, but if he stays healthy he could be #1 overall WR.
- Well now I’m not sure whether I like J.J. Watt more as a player or as a person. Seems like a genuinely nice guy.
- “I went to plant, but it didn’t plant.” – Well that sounds awful. Poor Sam Baker, even though he’s been pretty terrible since they signed him to a 40-million dollar extension, I still feel bad for him.
- He might not have as good of hands, but Freeman looks like a bigger Gio Bernard. After looking at their comps, Gio is just slightly quicker. Once Davanta gains the #2 RB job (and he should, Rodgers sucks) he is a great late round pick.
- 54 minutes into the DVR, the white guy in the locker room has legit B-cup titties. Check it out, if you’re into that sort of thing. And no it’s not Mike Tice, he’s got (C)annons.